Spirit Carries On - lyrics when utter dissapointed..

Where did we come from,
Why all here?
Where do we go when we die?
What lies beyond
And what lay before?
Is anything certain in life?

They say, "Life is too short,"
"The here and the now"
And "You're only given one shot"
But could there be more,
Have I lived before,
Or could this be all that we've got?




If I die tomorrow
I'd be all right
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on

I used to be frightened of dying
I used to think death was the end
But that was before
I'm not scared anymore
I know that my soul will transcend

I may never find all the answers
I may never understand why
I may never prove
What I know to be true
But I know that I still have to try

If I die tomorrow
I'd be all right
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on

"Move on, be brave
Don't weep at my grave
Because I am no longer here
But please never let
Your memory of me disappear"


Safe in the light that surrounds me
Free of the fear and the pain
My questioning mind
Has helped me to find
The meaning in my life again
Victoria's real
I finally feel
At peace with the girl in my dreams
And now that I'm here
It's perfectly clear
I found out what all of this means

If I die tomorrow
I'd be all right
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on

hmm same square over and over again.. heh...

well dint have anything to blog about since i was totally busy and was loosing my head! sigh this week has been a hell of a week and there is no place to even sit and breathe in peace. hmm life has been pretty weird and i really cant figure it out at times! cause of some reasons. well da sad thing that when people become important in your life and that becomes only a temporary importance and when things change as in when it goes to another level they forget the past just like that! err how annoying can that be... well forget about annoying its heart breaking, sad and makes me go speechless also! well all of that is just a good experience in life to get to know people.. sometimes i just get extremely dissapointed because i giv more than 10000% and at the end of the day its jus a waste and i end up gettin an outcome of 0% which has been happenin all my life! its nothing new. and when i make up my mind that everythings gonna b alright and its a NEW chapter BUT turns out to b the same ol boring and annoying chapter which breaks me down at the end of the day! hmm.. people's life our diff. and there words become false. and the worst part is that when i move on somwhere down the line i been brought in connection with ma past and there GOES! grr life is a tough journey. and u know som ppl are soo made out o METAL hearts cause they jus giv stupid reasons and jus fly away. at the end o da day i end up getting all sensitiv over issues.. where as ppl jus dont EVEN bother. cause they dont feel a damn! they dont giv a damn.. they just have a time o there lives and dont evn bother to b sensitiv over anything! well its good when PPL becom harden. and when I becom harden is the bad part cause then ppl start complaining that I have changed and all bull... they got there lives.. ppl are there.. they seem to b more than wanted.. so wat? and y da hell shud i b there?? cause im sure it wont make a diff.. and can turn in to the millions of ppl around? y specifically me me me???? isn't it a big battle?? this is jus insane right now..... but wat to do.. i will have to b me and jus b there when ppl need me.. i believe there is a reason they talk to me.. so i wil b there.. but jus tyrping ma feelings out saying how dissapointed i am cause they only need me in times o trouble... this is where i wish if life i could get any better.. hmmm yet another bit and a piece of life gets blogged up over here... heh jus b who u are! dont change and dont forget ppl cause they care for u and want u to do well in life.. and i know they wil never get it and wil never understand them hehe. its alright! let it b in my heart only! cause in this page its jus me mySelf and I.. where i write ma feelings out..

PS: thank u cliff juDe Zehnder for the awesom song... will post da lyrics after this post! really meaningful and awesom awesom song.. jus can keep on listening over and over again! thank u bro!! tcc!!

mother of mine - lyrics of inspiration

Mother of mine you gave to me,
All of my life to do as i please,
I own everything i have to you,
Mother sweet mother of mine.

Mother of mine when i was young
You showed me the right way
Things should be done,
Without your love where would i be,
Mother sweet mother of mine.

Mother you gave me happiness,
Much more than words can say,
I pray the lord that he may bless you,
Every night and every day.

Mother of mine now i am grown
And i can walk straight all on my own,
I'd like to give you what you gave to me,
Mother sweet mother of mine.

a day which i believe wil change my life..

well.. hmm strange indeed but yet a powerful day in my life! looks lik there has been another awesom moment which i should remember! so hea i am bloggin my thoughts. well it all started like this. ER i have been having a thought in ma mind and actually god spoke to me! i was too stubborn and was trapped by earthly things to accept it! i was seriously going my way and honestly things ended up pretty badly eh :/ hmm i was thinkin thinkin y oh y and then suddenly today BOOM somthing was tlkin to me inside me and i actually realised it was da same voice which was talkin to me at ER! and i was shocked! seriously. and that voice actually explained EVERYTHING to me as to Y things dint wrk out and all! and it all FITTED perfectly! which made me more shocked! and from that moment on ALL wat has been hapenin has jus STRUCK me hard and involving my life!
i really cant believe it. hmmm
evening where the story became more alive was cause we had evening of prayer in church and i was not supposed to go. cause last night desmond was lik if i wanna com with him! and i was lik hmm NAHHH wil think about it! cause was feelin a bit weak since i was a bit sick as well! so today after class i had ma lunch! went bak to ma room and slept! and got up after a good nap! then somthin in ma heart was lik GO FOR IT! so i texted him and told him i was coming! and then he told me to b ready by 7. so anyway we went for it! nothin much it started! so had to help out with vocals and i was singing! and then after aunty who was talking today she was giving her talk! and i was listening to it! and THEN BOOM hea we go again things started to strike again! it was da continuation of morning! and i was thinking! everything she told struck me! and i was taking down all da notes for ma reading purposes and i was listenin very well! even i cant believe i listened so ALERT! cause it was simply about me! hmm then actually i was lik wow wow! and i got ma answer 50% and that 50% i value alot cause it was ALOT for da situ i was in! and then we finished the meeting and went to c121 to hangout! i actually dint wanna go cause i was not feelin well! but AGAIN somthin inside me pushed me to go for it! so i was lik ok! and ASAP i got in desmonds car WE BOTH spoke about wat we eachother felt during the message! and then was pretty amazing cause that message was right on TARGET BULLSEYE and we knew where things were going wrong! and it was lik woooow! and was talking and went to C121 and da rest hadn't com yet! so we were waiting for them! and then Sue came as well. and everyone followed! and they were havin supper while we were all jus talking about stuff! and da convo was going so awesom and i was loving it! listening to sue and da rest! felt lik a real homely feeling! and then 3rd time BOOM happened! adam gav his commitment answer about being serious with god! and then sue was talking about how the empowered youth have taken there VOW of PURITY! and i was lik WHOOOOOOAAAAA pure commitment! and it really struck me again! i was smiling but millions of stuff were runnin in my head! and now im more shocked is cause things are falling into place! before i thought that i was surrounded by probs and i got no place or road to walk on! but then BOOM there god shows me a way which i believe that a locked door was opened! i really cant believe it! and then i thought to my self i will take that way! and i know its NOT gonna b easy! its gonna b FILLED with test and FALLING DOWN! but i know that im jus been put into test! well PURITY is a hard but yet and important thing to keep! well atleast until i finish my degree! cause my attention wil b focused on 2 ways! GOD and STUDIES thats it! nothin more! and this is da road i have been searching for! but GOD showed me in his WAY and TIME! and sue asking that question WHO WANTS TO B SERIOUS WITH GOD! i know my mission which is to spread da fire and gods glory! and now i found my path! and im more than hapy about it! i am willing to walk in that way! for my parents, friends and everyone! and im sure i will b always watched over by god! my heart feels alot of peace today! and i know ITS ALL ABOUT U GOD!!! I AM SAYING YES TO U knowing all wats gonna com across me! thank u and praise u jesus always! AMENNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

my experience at MOUNT SINGAI!

well the title says it all! haha yesterday9th may 2010 i went on a pilgrimage to Mount Singai. Mount Singai is a well known pilgrimage place in Kuching, Malaysia. as the name says its situated on a mountain. haha the unique thing is that while climbing the mountain stations of the cross are located. So its not only gonna b a mountain hike but a hike with a religious touch as well. The catholic students from Swinburne (CSSS) participated in this event. had to wake up early in the mornin! and was a bit tired cause slept at 2 am the previous night after the ER servers dinner. haha so kept the alarm and got up. had a wash and went to A BLOCK where the bus was parked! haha the good thing was Desmond, Mark and Marianne joined as well! haha was so happy that they were coming! anyway went to Mount singhai and started to climb the mountain! it was so much fun! did the way of the cross. took about 30-40 mins to climb the mountain. then came to this awesome place. there was a statue as da picture and it was so nice! took a pic of it for blog haha anyway after going up we jus took a tiny break! and went to this amphitheater place more like an open air stage.

PIcture number 2 shows the mini amphitheater. We had a couple of Ice Breaking Sessions there! Divided the whole crowd into a few groups and did some drama there! it was fun hahaha! since we all knew all of them present there was no Shyness or anything! haha then we were just hanging out for a few more mins and then joined holy mass at the chapel. Picture number 3 shows the chapel where we had mass. Mass was
led by Fr. Albert who is supposed to be a dutch priest. We were joined by few Philippines citizens who had come to sarawak for working. Mass was awesom! was led by CSSS and music was led by me and stephanie! we played guitar and it was awesom! haha basically played most of holy trinity stuff hahaha thankss sueee huggy! hehe and Desmond taught me to play the alluluia in IBAN way ( i hope) haha i cudnt believe i played it that way praise the lord! haha anyway mass was awesome.
Then directly went for lunch cause everyone was really hungry after all that climbing and praying hehe! then had an awesom lunch. nice time to fellowship with each other! haha then after we took a small break and went to the amphitheater again and had some praise and worhip sessions! and some reflections as well. Praise sessions was led by pete and played by Stephie and me again! haha so amazing to jam for the lord. anyway then after had some sharing and we went back to our groups and shared how the word effects our lives. it was good to know how each other felt about it! then sine we were already behind schedule we had to come back the mountain cause we had to hed back to campus. it took about 30 mins to get back to campus and all said goodbye to each other. hmm it was memorable journey and wish could go again hehe! jus wanna tel my CSSS family that you guys are awesom and love you all!!

Boyz II Men A Song For Mama Lyrics

MOTHERS DAY - missing my darling mom!

hmm well its international mother's day! and i would like to wish all mommies worldwide a happy mommy day!! and may godbless u ALL always!! well coming in the topic went for ER thanksgiing dinner today! and after dinner had worship! then we had a session where they brought a cake and they called all the moms to come and cut it and we prayed for all moms worldwide! well my mom was always in ma mind! i was really sad cause i really missed her! was thinkin of the last time she hugged me in the airport! and tears were just flowing in her eyes! omg my heart jus broke down and i was in tears today! sigh! im missing my mom in such an awesom day lik today! even FR JEPPY told all the kids to do somthin for their moms tomoro! but wat can i do! my mommy is miles and miles away from me!! hmm i wish i spend da whole day with mom! well i do love my mom not only for tomoro! but its jus that da day is special i wanna spend it with her! only if god gave me da chance to meet mommy tomoro! sigh! but u knw i really felt it today! well we got 365 days a year! and y one special day to express our love to our moms! sigh! so jus wanna my amma to know that i love you always my darling amma!! ur my everything!! love you so much! and mommy i will always keep u happy! thats a promise i will make to you!
Taking mothers day into another side i am sad yes but i am happy also in a way! that even though my moms not around im sure her prayers are with mama MARYY!! she prayed to mama MARy to protect me and she send her love thru mama mary to me! and i am happy! and i praise and thank god for mama mary for being there for me always and loving me so much!! mama mary i love you always too! ur da mommy of the whole world! please take care of all ur sons and daughters around the world who cant spend da day with their mommy's today!! AMEN!! hmm going to mount singhai today! ts a pilgrimage place! wil update info about it when i com bak!! :) tc all!! HAPPY MOTHER;s DAY ONCE AGAIN!!

continuation of yesterday!!

hmm Finally things are a bit calmed down after yesterdays big drama! omg i seriously had enuf! haha well guess what got up really late 1PM and then went for lunch and classes! went for empowered youth meeting! wow it was awesom and so nice to see everyone once again! haha had a good time! then was hanging out with des and jujude and just talking! omg huge weekend coming ahead! well its saturday mornin 4.40 im jus talking with shehan and he is watchin da match! haha we're jus having a random chat as well! discussing how human life can b complicated hmm! gonna sleep in a while! but im sure gonna get up late! cause its saturday after all! haha got swin choir later then church then got a dinner for all da servers of GLORY yaaayy hahaha then Sunday mornin going to mount singhai for a retreat! haha atleast i wil b away and calmed down! gotta study also! hmm o else i'll b DOOMED hehee anyway glad that things are fallin into place slowly! but sad part is that the ppl who are supposed to b around arent around! which is extremely sad!! i realy wish there was som1 to care for me! but we always dont get what we want do we???? hmmm anyway wil keep holdin on and lets see how things wil go! gonna get som sleep now! haha wil keep on bloggin frequently now! hahaha :P XD its official! will be coming up with a motto for it! jus got only half fixed hehehe XD

HAVE A BAD DAY! TAKE ONE DOWN!

well i havent been updating for sometime! but i hope i wil be able to upload from now atleast! well im having the worst time of my life these day! even though i think that my life is gonna get better it ends up gettin worse! well u try to do somthing good for ppl and they end up Kicking your butt! its da same thin with everything! and in the world today we find really freaky ppl! so WATCH OUT GUYS haha

well today i jus had a really bad day! got Blasted from ma lecturer! well coming to think of it, it was the continuation of yesterday! haha i realised im stil CURSED by som1 and that CURSE keeps on happening! and nothin goes on riGHT sigh!

Dont ask about love cause its da worst thin that can happen to a person! right now in my opinion i think that love is shit! u wan care, love and attention from som1.. STOP thinkin about it! its not gonna wrk! haha cause at the end o the day u end up gettin hurt and HEART BROKEN! ppl say that there is no age barrier for love! but ppl put there OWN terms and conditions! wat a BULLSHIT world we live in! haha
and also ppl LOVE to take advantage over others! hahaha for godsake plsssssss! im sure ppl DISABLED are waaaay better haha!! well its all in attitude which matters!
at the end of the day u wil realise that there is NO1 in this FREAKING world for u! well u gotta survive ur own GAME! if u cant UR DOOMED! well sadly ppl have not been taught how to SOCIALIZE and to GIVE IN thats y they have issues! lik they CANT DO STUFF ON THERE OWN! omggg sad right! hahaha XD XD coming to think o it its sad about them! but sadly only thin we can do is to practice wat we preach and say FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THERE DOING! hahaha await moreeeee! coming soon!

CAUSE THE DRAMA HAS JUS BEGUN! hahahaha