Wrap up Twenty10!!

Hi againnn to all my friends! well i know its really late to blog about my wrap up about 2010 but nevertheless betr late than never! well honestly i cudnt blog cause i have been very very busy with alot of wrk! my sis is gettin married next week and i have been sooo busy... And i couldn't blog before cuase i was stuck wit skl wrk specially exams! damn finally they were over and then yah had carolling and stuff! so jus after i had to fly home! and from the day i got home until now ive been busy! well yp that's why i got late to blog! anyway without spoilin the whole point i'l get to ma main topic which is a wrap of the year twenty10!
Things started in a bad way since i had to go very early in the beg weeks o jan cause o summer sem.. jus for crazy classes where u jus gotta attend jus for da sake o it... so i was lik arrghhhh and jus went! and then results were supposed to b out and those results were the main one which enabled me to tak the new subs. I remember i was sooo worried about it and had to go talkin to ma lecturer where she assured me to b patient... so i did manage to b patient and at the end of it it was all good.... i got thru and i was so happy! i was soo happy cause o another reason that i made ma parents happy after along time! that really made my whole year. and also i was takin a huge step in ma life... anyway few o ma friends dint make it! so was a bit not a proper time to celebreate! but yehh was jus happy in ma heart! and upto date i thank god for all o the blessings... moving on da boring sem was going on and we were jus doin da whole sem for da sake o doing! it was soo annoying... anyway survived that and also dad came to visit me for a few days... so took him around and took him to church and everything! and i was playing in church.. anyway after he left i was jus goin wit ma normal life...During this period there were few other things which happened! for exampl chinese new year! well it was ma first eva chinese new year so i was celebrating it wit ma church family! i was goin visiting around and then i enjoyed it! learnd a new game called 21 was playing and hitting jackpot! hahaha i wil neva forget that i started ma jackpot at jasmine's place! ;) hehe and it was going on! well after a few days o chinese new year i got this anonimous txt from this num and it turns out to b this person! <> so anyway this person and i got very close! and then came ER and my first ER i was helpin out wit da opening ceremony and also was singing in da back up choir! for da first tim i was seeing annointing in kuching and i was lik woow!! anyway by then this person and i were close! and anyway things dint turn out the way i expected! anyway watta do! but it all ended in a way that we neva spoke to each other there after! <> so moving on Degree classes started and things were tough trust me... i had a time coping up wit 1 sub and i got a crazy lecturer an indian guy who was nagging me to glory! he was jus killing me for everything... one o his subjects was lik so crazyy and i knew i was gonna flunk it! i was sad also! but watta do! anyway sem one alot o other drama happened.. where had a few arguments wit a few o ma friends and things dint wrk out well... we actually were aparted and it was jus me and ma room mate! we were jus to our self and it was also a time for us to move so we jus were finding for houses and luckily we found a house near to uni! and moved out there... well that sem exams were soo crazyy i dint know wat i did.. anyway after all dat drama we did our wrk and then after exams i was happy cause mom and akki were coming to kch! and we were goin to sin for shopping and going home together... so they also came and had a few arounds in kuching and then we left to singa.. wand to go to universal studio's but dint wrk out wellL! at the entrance tickets were sold out! so i was soo heart broken!! hmmm anyway did som shopping and went home... nice to fly bak home wit family... anyway then ma hair was soo long I had the Bieber fever haha so was lik Bierber crazyy! ;) anyway talking about life then i should say that all the up's and down's i went thru made me get close to god. I was helping out wit youth work... and then i was so happy that no matter wat i realised that i got a loving god for me... no matr wat.. was so not interested in relationships! but was commited to god... well then cause o this i got to know Desmond well... Desmond is also known as PAPA and also the guardian. Well he's a very understanding person. He was lik a father and he is an example to all of our lives.. his very own life testimony is an exampl! I got to know him very well and it was also a big help in ma life journey cause havin an exampl lik that helps me to improve my life as well!! o course we are human and we had our up's and downs! but stil we managed to cope up and go on life... i actually opened up everything to him... but sadly he had to leav to KL for further studies! hmm watta do... he and i are in da same journey! im away from ma home and serving.. and he is away from his home serving.. well after he went there he also managed to imprve his faith there...! this burnt the fire o me and i was gettin pationate to god more as well! before he left he told me that i shud b a guardian to the church youth! so i had more responsibility! and i knew it was another deep step in ma journey! and i told him i wil do it... and from then had to mak sure that all youth were oki.. hmm this was the first part o the year anway after 6 months came home and yp things were coming up for ma sis's wedding and yp it was kinda short holiday! i got another chance to go to Divine... India! things were ok there! came up re fueld after a good retreat and things were actually good. cudnt wait to get bak to kuch to share da fire... and 2nd sem started wit a huge drop! had alot o issues wit enrolment and i was actually sick and tired of everything! but stil managed to cope up! and then finallly got a solution! and then took 3 subjects that sem! and also learnt ma lesson! and i was in da new house. Anyway that sem was a diff sem! o course i was gettin close to god more more more! there were few huff and puffs there also! where ppl were not that happy wit wat i was doing. and the ppl whom i thought they were turnd out to b diff... they changed completely! very sad for them! anyway that tim exams also finished and caroling pracs started also and we officially started youth this sem! we were having movie nights.. and things lik that.. we took a huge step in faith! and im happpy that things wrkd out well!! we wil continue to grow in faith! we had ups and downs but we were affirmed that god was actually stiring things in our life.. anyway movie nights, prayer nights, pillow talk, EOP, caroling! all went on very well... thank and praise god for the HTC family.. and we wil grow in faith! i actually was able to find my journey wit god! i was able to fig it out! and i was so happy! this sem also let me helped who were my real friends are and who were not! well also i got som real life evidence and made me realise things.. where ppl who call them selves friends use our names???? well the only thin we can do is pray for there brokenness and we forgive! no1 wil eva understand how hard that situ is! the only way is to fall into our shoes and see how deep it is.. cause we are dealing with ppl's lives... it is very risky.. but when we go to help ppl, they do not want any help! they tak it in a wrong way thinkin that we are tracking them down! and they try to take revenge on us in diff ways... very sad that way.. cuase ppl think in a very kiddish way.. and how FB became there lives where they jus express there feelings and expect ppl to knw updates..... anyway i hop and pray that ppl wil get it to there heads and realise things! cause evn though u try to talk to em o anythin they dont giv it a chance! so wat are we to do?? we dont wan our friends to fall down da drain! we wil stil keep holdin on and pray for them and b there for them! and STILL TRY OT SAVE THEM evn though how eva much the ciscumstance is.. anyway caroling was a good exp! first tim wit ma HTC family we went on caroling! it was fun! but i had to leav soon cause i had to fly back home asap cause this tim da sem ended very late and i had to fly cause things had to b done at home... sis's wedding and i had to tak up few responsibilities... after comin home i got to know few things which the burden was cmin on to ma shoulders and i had to tak that as well... hmmm anyway christmas came and went! new came and went! and all in all 2010 was a year mixed! i learnt alot! and i hop it wil help me in ma comin journey when i tak other steps in ma life... hopfully things wil b oki! and hopin the best for 2011 waitin for som important days to com in da future days! hmmm all praise and thank you lord for a wondeful year given to me and to ma family.. thank you for being with us in everything we did and guiding us along the way! lord u are indeed our father and we claim it in faith that u wil take us higher in our journey o faith! thank you once again for everything!! AMEN!

Letters to god..

hello everyone... i know i blogged last night.. but thought of sharing something which struck my heart today.. well the day started ok busy as always but then evening was something different.. went swimming with the guys and then had a movie night in church.. the movie screening was "Letters to god" well glad that the youth ministry organized this event and we were blessed to have an awesome audience and was supported by our own parents.. they coming and gracing the event was a huge strength as well.. hmm well this movie is a such a .... hmmm *Takes a deep breath* i really don't know how to describe this.. such a wonderful movie.. it describes about this child whose 10 years and whose also suffering with cancer... he goes for chemo and also he goes through various things in life.. hmm but still there is one thing which keeps him going.. his FAITH.. that lil bro for the age of 10 had a strong faith and also love for jesus.. so every single day he wrote letters to god explaining on all what he goes through and also all what he wished for... he sends the letters through a postman who actually reads them and has a conversion on his own life.. Many people were touched because of this little kids faith.. He's faith moved mountains! and also it elaborates on JOHN 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. the key word here is BELIEVE!! well that little guy believed that he is going to heaven and he believed that god listens to our prayers.. this movie was so sensitive that tears were jus coming to my eyes... its really touchy and it was not only me.. all those who were present there were touched by the movie... sigh i wil watch it again and again.. the message to us in this movie as i see is like this.. no matter how or what life gives us, we should be ready to take it.. and not to complain but to take it as a blessing. even the bible just STAMPS it saying that who ever believes in him will have eternal life. its up to us to believe in his love and to believe that our god is always watching over us.. he loved us so much and he gave his only son to us.. and that son died for us.. do you think that lord who gave all that would let us down?? no way ya?? it cannot possible happen.. so its upto us to take the right decisions in life.. i dont know what made me blog today! but i hope its all for a good reason.. this movie is such a inspiration to all of us.. no matter what our life is what ever we have to deal with.. lets remember that he is always watching over us and his mighty hands are always protecting us... its just a matter of us putting out our foot and standing up for him.. lets all of us just give the truth of our hearts to him and open up to him and let him take control of our lives.. hmm guess thats all wat i gotta say i guess.. also wanna add up by sayin this movie is one nice movie.. and it is encouraged to watch.. hmm thank u lord for inspiring me to write this.. wel its another chapter in ma life just ma review and how i took the movie... take care everyone.. god bless u all!!!

untitled......

well hi everybody!! i know its been exactly a month since i last blogged out! but watta do?? been really really busy with school. Hmmm cause there is NO break at all in things.. tru enough that its the mid semester break but there is no break at all... hmm anyway turning the pages of life i come across different life experienced every single day.. well firstly i would like to thank all who commented on the peeps box!! thanks guys!!! well moving on.. well since the last time i have been upto wrk wrk wrk and more wrk as usualy.. Things at uni are ok... sometimes things are very annoying with these ppl who dont think about humans but only there self well those times its soo annoying... and also when the wrk load gets huge and u try to do somethin sacrificing all ur other wrk and at the end after all that sacrifice nothing comes up its more humiliating! this adds up where when ur BOSS is not stable and when Other ppl try to interfere. Sucks at times but the weird thing is that this is a unique world we gotta survive with the rest.. hmm really dont wanna talk about those ppl cause it jus boils ma blood! anyway openly i forgive to this person who runs behind money and who is soo greedy for money! i hop you wil understand that money is NOT everything someday...
and moving on.. went to Mt Singai a couple of times and with different groups! first was with church servers where we learnt alot on serving and team wrk. 2nd was with Swinburne CSS which was also for 3 days and 2 nights. This was awesome too! haha lOved the FOOD yum yyum yum.. well when it came to praise nad worship sessions it was awesome as well!! had a few struggles as well! but when the lord took over all were ok.. all were a good experience in life. WEll its mid sem break and havent done anything. im supposed to b done with the software by now.. but not yet as well! i dont knw wats lagging me.. but i really knw i can do it. sometimes i find it really crazy to b this lagging. But after mid sem i knw that i really need to put ma socks up and go ahead with wrk. I will do it..
Sometimes surviving with ppl with diff opinions is hard. but watta do! all part of the journey i guess.. Cause som ppl change there ideas.. som ppl say one thing and do something else, mood swings, Not growing up... well made me realize about life where ppl who have, dont know to make the use of it... i seriously dont knw why that is... arghhh its sad to see all that... anyway...
ooh ya just today was in the mall and fig'd out that som ppl are so dramatic.. they say its a reason but reality its something diff...i dont care at all.. if they wanna hide drama let them do it.. its not gonna hit me o anything.. well forget about em the place where things go more worse is that when those ungrown ups com into place.. arghghhh too complicating to explain.. i dont evn knw as to why am i bloggin about al these.. but oh well.. all are bits and pieces of life...
hmm well This December is gonna b one crazy holiday.. since the wedding is comin up got heaps o wrk to do... so havent planned on a date as such to fly but might as well stick wit da same i guess.. hmm lets see how things go.. cant wait to get back to do al that wrk and to b wit da family again... well after all this is gonna b da last time i guess.. god knws whn we wil com bak.. anyway hop for the best in everything. wish i seriously can go back now.. haizz anyway save the best for last! i would rather take it slow and easy and go for it.. haha cause after all there is only about 7 weeks left more to go! and then its HOME going season, which adds up christmas.. hhaaha this christmas is gonna b crazy as well... hmm gonna do something this tim for sure... and hopfully i'll b able to do some cover at home hmmm its hard work! but if i master ma skills in this software i got them im sure to go! hahaha btw the home internet conn is superb and im enjoying it lik crazy hahaha new softwares and most importantly latest GLEE episodes hahaha LOlzz im ahead o the rest as well!:P hehe im up to date on GLEE hahaa anyway this season seems to b pretty awesome! new songs and stuff hmm lets see how things will go.. anyway cant believe that ma holiday is comin t an end.. hmm missing ammi's bday this tim also! haizz.. lets see wat we can do.. plannin on something.. :P gotta get ready for that now.... other than that glad youth is coming up and gonna get da activities started up and keep rolling.. somtimes i think y lord do i hav to study?? if i cu do administration wrk i wud def do it hahaha :P anyway i wish i can serve 24/7 but cant nah?? gotta finish up these thing and graduate then gotta think o something! hmmm maybe masters which is lik later! hahaha :P lets see! there are huge dreams and goals to achieve but before that i gotta fight to achieve all o them.. which does not come easily! sometimes i think i could go and jus do ma own thing... but cannot na! but things wil change soon! and i knw that and i claim that... i only wish there was a proper transport sys over hea so that i dont need to wry at all! haizzz its driving me nuts at times as well... but lets seeeeee!!! wont loose focus on anythin!! all gonna b surrenderd and been prayed so that everything will go ok........ well hop to blog up somthin soon... until then take care all...

how i realised things...

hey u all! how are u all doing? im sure everyone is doing gr8.. well today i come up with another page in ma life.. honestly i had a tiring day today! and i feel like sleeping and its 1.15 am as well.. but there is this strong urge to blog something... feel like there are alot of ideas in my heart.. well where can i start from.. its september already and half of the month has passed away as well... since uni is on and things are just about starting to come up. thank god im taking 3 and plus im stuck with council wrk so life jus doesnt get any better than that. well everyday there is jus something that comes up and keeps me occupied and im actually happy about that. Rather than got NOTHING to do.. in a way since im working in the designing department in the council its a good opportunity for me to master ma photoshop skills! hehe lolzz not bad at all!! well moving on..
For the past few days things have been different.. well i really dont know why it is so... actually its in a good way.. I feel that im very hard working and the results turn out to be good as well.. leav out school, other than that well i have this inner peace which i get from youth.. serving god everyday... leading people in gods path.. its so awesome.. i feel joy in ma heart lik never before.. well we had a gathering in campus and then i made a video teaser just like a trailer with the events and while that was going on i felt goosebumps.. it was an amazing experience. and seeing alot of catholics in campus made me go Wheeeee as well hehe it was a wonderful evening that day.. and adding to that shy and prec spoke to me and said they wil join HTC youth to serve. i was soo happy.. actually they have bee wanting to do it for a long time.. but now the time had come they couldnt say no anymore. Im speechless about this.. actually god calls each and everyone of us in different ways.. its just upto us to respond to his calling and act according to it.. I also feel that we are a blessed generation.. and to serve him, to praise him and worship him.. all o them are so amazing..
moving on to my life..i can say that i take my life as a journey.. i walk in a road and in this journey i come across bumps, ruts, broken roads etc. well the weird thing i realized today was this.. I was a normal guy in Sri Lanka and i was a sinner, and then the lord found me thru my community and i was serving there. he moulded me and shaped me according to his will.. And now here I am in Kuching, Malaysia doing his will and spreading his news through music. Why did god chose me for all this?? i feel so special... OMG im feel so loved by god.. cause im happy that he chose me and sent me to this part of the world in my mission.. Well i could have gone to australia to do ma studies, my relatives are there, my community is there and i ot all the comforts out there.. But why did god sent me to this part! cause i believe he's got a purpose in that... this is out of my way. But no matter what, how ever much its hard i hav unconsciously taken it like a blessing. Thanks to ma HTC, empowered families and also my awesome friends. All of them have been there for me whenever i need them and backing me up. Supporting me and being there for me just like my own.. See in this country i cant speak none of the main languages, But stil how am i going on with my daily work?? this is indeed a blessing from god and i thank and praise his name always! and i will continue on in my journey of faith of spreading his kingdom to the ENDS OF THE EARTH! now these words were just words for me.. i just put it to the video and etc.. but coming to think of it, It has a Deeper meaning. And my mission testifies to it well.. I know my lord loves me and he will guide me thoughout. Im blessed in my mission in such young age. Well what made me realise more was this:
i was a totally different person before. and then after the lord found me and moulded me things changed and now my family is my priority and everything to me.. i realised this properly cause of the testimony my mom had written. I came t realise alot of things, that im not that weird different person anymore and i have seriously changed, Looking back to my life i can even ask that question what on earth was i thinking... well anyway alot of things were my priority then, But now things are no longer that..
Just cause i sound holy that doesnt mean that i have NOT been put to the test. I, just like a normal human being have been put to the test regularly. But i am overcoming them slowly through the strength of god. Of course i see alot of things when i go on FB. about my friends, how happy there lives are, they have moved on in life, people whom i dint expect have gained so much of happiness in life, some are in relationships, some are going all strong in life and etc. I am actually really happy for them. They deserve all that happiness, and i pray to god that they continue in there lives well, They will do there work very well and there relationships to grow stronger. I on my hand got no clue at all when i will meet up with that person, But i pray for her daily so that god will protect her where ever she is and hope she is in good care and good health. Hope she's growing in her faith and also she is always filled with happiness. God only knows when i will meet her. but its his will! and not mine. so i will wait. I got many more things to do right now. There is a young generation whom i have to lead in his path.. wow not to boast much i feel chosen by god to lead them.. hehehe well thanks to Jude i learned about interceding for your loved one..
Well talking about Jude i like to share something which s so awesome. Jude Antoine is a preacher from KL. I used to love is preaching. Firstly i met him in India at power 2009 and then i came to malaysia but couldnt actually meet him cause he was in another state which takes about a 2 hour flight. So then i couldnt wait to see him in power 2010. But before that i found him on FB and introduced ma self and we were keeping in touch. And then i met him in power and during dinner i went and spoke to him and was talking and told about kuching and etc. And then he mentioned what a small world it is and he knows sue and everyone specially HTC so then i was so happy he go to know me and all..hehe (Collars up) haha anyway i aw his status few weeks back saying e's coming to kuching for a retreat with the empowered ministry. So then, i sent him a mail asking if we can meet him, and then he said not sure but something inside me told that i will meet him. So i told sue about it and then just after the retreat while he was having dinner we got a chance to talk to him! OMG what an amazing chance that was.. i couldnt believe i met him! im a Sri Lankan, Met him in India and then i meet him in Kuching. Lords love is so amazing and weird as well! his plans are so awesome! and int he long term run u feel wat actually he wants us to do. Its not instant at all. at first we might feel thats its really stupid, thats cause we are human and we are weak, but as time goes by we start realising things and then we say OMG that actually happened.. sigh sigh sigh after talking to him i felt that i was RE-Fueled and felt like i can carry on with stuff.. And i will do it.. I am in my mission and I will do it... doesnt matter what ever it takes... cause Lord i give you my heart, I give you my soul, I live for you alone, Every Breath that i take, Every moment im awake, Lord have your way in me...
Well now i feel relived cause i just typed my self out... Praise the lord! and may god bless each and everyone who are reading this.... this ends another page of my life.. awaiting to blog somemore soon!! until then b blessed! PEacee!!! :))

junction and after.............

heyy everyone... its me back again.. well cudnt blog for awhile cause i just got back in Malaysia and still settling down. well with the up's and downs im still going on my journey.. i passed the junction which i came across strongly thank and praise almighty god for that. Living in a house is not the same as staying in the hostel. things are pretty different. alot more giving in.. and looking into everyone and mak sure that the house is in 1 piece :P well its all a good experience and great training.. well things have been tough personally... after 21 years had a serious family convo and had to make som important decisions about my family and my self.. well coming to think of it i already feel the responsibilities i have to tak regarding my family.. im ready for all of that.. all i can say is im going to play it as it comes.. oh by the way before i forget i want to testify something.. while back in sri lanka i just felt that i want to go to st. anne's church.. and something was pushing me.. so since dad was also around we decided to go there. it all just connected that sr rani also wanted to madhu but since of the feast agreed to go to thalawila.. well we decided to go on a saturday morning and it was about a 3-4 hour drive. such a good exp to drive out of the city and you have your freedom in the road hahaha i jus love road trips hehehe nywayz coming to the main topic.. went to church and then said the rosary at the statue and then we went to the blessed sacrement.. i had ma pod with me and i jus went there and plugged it in and began to worship. i jus had a vision there! i saw me playing guitar and a choir backing me up. and then sash came over and said mass was going to begin! so i went out and was seated and preparing for mass.. and jus 2 mins before mass began there comes a man sayin WE NEED SOM1 TO PLAY FOR MASS AND A CHOIR TO SING.. i jus cudnt believe my ears. i was lik lord you are so awesome.. and anyway i had a passion to play.. so i played for mass and backed up by our family choir.. it was so awesome that mario was also there he joined into! so felt more confident... was jus worshipping god in all i have.. simply amazing.. hmm well time passed by and i had to come back here. glad that all what i wanted to talk with our family was discussed and then most of them were decided and planned so that every1 was happy at the end of the day... cause next time we meet its gonna b such a rush.. so all are set and planned now.. i came hea and had to deal with som issues in campus... and BOOM hea we go sem 2.. things are going pretty ok.. still 1st week! 13 more to go.. and plus got student council work to see to as well... hmm helping out wit church youth work as well... cause thats one of my dreams.. i really feel that im destined to spread the kingdom over here. and from the boost i got from india and since i have been finding my purpose of my journey.. i feel that i knw its to spread the kingdom.. and i seriously gt some passion to spread it.. i see this road ahead but its a bit misty.. by prayer i knw god wil take that away.. and i will go with it.. had a movie night in church it was about mother teresa's life.. for a suprise it was the movie which was shot in sri lanka.. so i was so happy... and the turn out was nice as well.. got some awesome feedback which encouraged us to go on.. well with all wat i hear and things happen i just get more stronger and feel like going more forward in the journey i have to go.. i really thank and praise god for my brother desmond who is doing a wonderful job in KL... he is going on his journey preaching the word to others.. its so amazing cause his life is a testimony to god.. and he is using it and god has blessed him with some awesom talent.. and so happy for him.. weird things happened as well.. som ppl whom i really well knw try to threaten me thru FB and testin my faith.. well evn though how ever im angry i wil always bless them and forgive them.. cause they really do not know what they are doing.. may god shower his light unto them so that they wil seek his face rather than gettin caught up with external things.. may god bless them 2wice as much more and make them happy. after all they are all children of god.. about the plans for my future.. these coming 13 weeks are challenging.. personally and as a team i got to do alot.. im willing to take it up! just for the love of my family.. i will do anything.. i have to sacrifice certain things.. and i will do that.. just to make my mom smile.. well i knw what ma family is thinkin if im crazy in letting go of certain things.. but its just that i need to make my life straight first and then i will carry on... let it happen when its the right time.. until then i will intercede for that person where ever she is.. may the lord bless and protect her always.. well i got a busy weekend coming up as my mission begins.. i surrender every step unto u lord.. guide me thru the way and jus want you to make me an instrument of you.. so that i'll b able to spread the message of your will... by these words i sign out for the moment! wil b bak with some more pages in my life soon... until then i bid goodbye and leav u with gods blessings!!

i see the junc coming ahead... god help me..

hmmm bak again wit another page in life.. bak after india and the presence of god was simply amazing.. well jus dint feel tat week pass by soo fast.. it was jus awesome.. me by my self.. doin wat eva i wan and spendin that week wit god was truly awesome.. well met new friends.. learnt alot about life and also helped me in figuring about my self.. which was a big "????" nywayz jus got bak from india on monday and now the main question is NOW WHAT??? how are we gonna take it over from hea.. well all i knw is that since we got out of the heavenly gates of divine it has jus been alot of testing which has com across alot in life.. well all what im doing is jus surrendering to god after what i have gone thru... well today jus havin alot o thoughts in my mind so thought o blogging it out.. started off wit uni stuff.. had som stuff to deal wit and was doing it all day and was dead tired... thn finally things are now on pendin mode.. al hop for da best for next week.. then in da evenin put da car key in da car and locked it out... and then was in panik mode had to rush bak home and get bak again.. thank god it was in a reachable area.. but then it was seriosly testing my patience... i was struggling lik crazyy but stil holding on.. well its jus been the beg! its only one week after the retreat and things lik this have been happening.. dunno wat else is in store for da future.. next week is gonna b a crucial week and i wil b taking alot of important decisions in life... which is gonna change alot o things.. its lik 50% 50% im waiting for it and also NOt waiting for it.. cause i really dunno how i feel about it.. dads due next week and will b takin the decisions as such so its gonna effect my future and da days to com.. and there is gonna b alot of letting go then.. sighh but seems lik im gettin ready for all of that.. well its high time i really started to think about my life and try to do somthin about me.. i knw the plans and mission i have to do.. and i know there are alot of responsibilities that i have to tak to ma shoulder.. after january all of that will b comin to my head... so i gotta b ready to tak all of that over me.. so all of that will be taken into consideration next week.. all i can do us sufrrender it to god.. im ready for everythin.. im sick of listenin to all praises ppl talk about da rest.. and its high time i do somthin on my own and com up in life.. its not easy not a straight road. i got NO1 by my side jus god alone. i gotta battle it out.. but right now for all wats happenin is SO not helping.. but the time has com where i really need to tak that heavy bag on my shoulder and start walking in that road. its gonna b jus god and me.. i thought others were happy abo9ut the decisions they made in life.. but seems lik they got there probs as well.. so in that case im happy the way i am.. all i can do is interceed for all of them and go ahead wit my journey.. i forgiv for all o the ppl who make me annoyed and who hav don wrong to me.. thats wat im destined to do.. forgive... after doin so much ppl jus dont evn bother to inform.. well its alright... i stil forgiv... well i knw there were none at the beg and tere wil b none at the end.. its jus GOD AND ME.... as long as he is there wit me i wil not fear.. i feel his presence surround me always.. so im ready it tak it on... today at the end of this day i pen off this page by sayin i forgive all the ppl who don wrong and also ask forgiveness from all if i hav don any wrong. and wil promise to say that i wil interceed for u all.. well its not gonna b an easy task right now.. but in the journey its a challenge from god.. and i wil do it for him, my parents and that person im interceeding for... tc everyone.. hope to b bak wit another page in life soon....

a life changing moment... in a junc waiting for ma turn..

helloo sri lanka.. haha well i know its a bit late but stil "better late than never" hmm thought o blogging today cause i got a biiit Freeee tim and i got alot of thoughts in my mind.. well startin things.. where shud i begin?? well ya takes back to the tim where iw as studying for ma exams.. talking about exams Atghhhh dont ask! feels lik that curse is stil there LOlzz thats jus a thing in my head.. nywayz results were out and Uploads were 2 and Downloads were 2.. so 50% 50% thankgod for that! it was kinda an eye openr as well. cause it helped to choose a path where im comfortable wit.. and also gives me a message that nothin is impossible for me if i really really wanna do it i can do it.. it was proved.. hmm well nywayz now i knw watta do about it and i wil do something about it cause its in ma mind now.. other than that life.. now life has becom pretty interesting.. and weird at the same time.. i came across a few insidents which jus made me pause and think back on life again... well after all this is another piece o life which has turned out to b weird..
well before i came bak to sl i came across a few stuff where i jus thought about life how things can happen to ppl and not to me.. it was a heartbreaker as well.. but i jus skipped it now im in sl and things hea are diff that malaysia..the busy lifestyle is a bit less and dealing wit ppl is NOT as same as there so switching is the best remedy.. hmm well hav been speaking to alot and coming across instances wher things are such.. somtimes i think IF i hve been played around??? cause its lik for a season i am remembered and da next moment jus thrownn to th waste bin????? hmm idk.. cause this weirdness drives me NUTS! well now coming to think properly i agree wit moms statement which is lik sooo tru... applying it to my plan i think that it wil do SOME god for me... well there cam a point where i thought ppl were close but now it has com to think after all wat u do for em.. at the end of the day u get 0... bein there and helpin out has becom somthin which is unexplainable! yaaa right now i sound lik i wanna say somthin but i cant! exaclty i cant do it! cause if i really express my self out hea SO MANY PPL wil get hurt... but i DONT wanna point out mistakes out hea! of course i got my own.. so i will keep them do mee....
well another interesting COMEDY that me and a friend o me are facing is DSW.. welll well that person who is AKA spammer.. is such a weird dumb dimb bulb.. HAHA i dont evn knw why am i evn botherd typing.. who tries to GET attention by makin fake profiles and tryin to run a drama o her own... my mom says is right.. ERR I DUNNO WATS HER PROB... well DSW complains that life doesnt run smoothly and etc... wat a small brain and narrow thinkin is that... thinks that LOVE is everything! came for an argument wit me about love and thinks that lve is jus a smooth road and everythin wil b ok?? EWWWWWWW sooo wrong.. and very very WRONG idea.. DSW has not gone thru the life chapters and thinks that everythin is lik GOOGLE.. u GOOGLE em and u get it and THTS WAT ITS ALL ABOUT?? wat a ......................... nvm.. all i can do is pray..
nywayz no times for dim light bulbs.. gointo india tomoro.. wel its gonna b a life changin journey! I HOP AND PRAY that it wil happen that way cause right now the way life has treated me its JUST GOD thats all i wan... and the way life is goin im NOT happy at all.. I jus need to make my plan straight and ACE it this time.. evn today which is a very special day where BOTH my grand moms celebrate there bday.. hmm goin out for dinner in a while.. CLIFF is in SL and takin him around.. comin bak to topic.. came across this person who is cls and whose achieved somwat and gave this weird att today i was lik WTH>>???? gonna b watchful before aug????? and whereas in im lik flyin tomoro????? hmm how watchful shd i b?? hmmm ppl change! its nothin new.. well also where the ppl are being praised for every singl thin and only we know how da real drama happens... well no use o talkin about all these things.. im gonna put my plan into practice.. jus gonna stick with wat i have to do.... and then in the end its gonna b all good i suppose.. cause im only gonna giv this 3 yrs a chance.. and then until then if things din wrk out.. then im jus gonna talk to ma parents and get plan B working out... well this retreat is gonna do somwat good i guess... hmm knowing my purpose of this life and to get to know my mission... i think i can hold on.. to fullsill my dream! cause im really sick of listening to all the boasting and stuff... its high time that things turned upside down.. and im gonna make that happen.. jus me and god.. and until the real time comess... im not gonna give in... i will really put it into my head this time.. jus cause o DSW im not gonna let dreams shatter... and i wil take over all my family for sure... thats wat im promising before this retreat.. and during this i will have time to put it into my head and to realise things... and after im back my plan will be underway... well thats it for da moment.. well sadly i cant tell everythin i feel! cause then its jus gonna worsen things up,.... nywayz im heading to bed... gotta b at the airport in less than 11 hourss.. and jus finished packing up and in winding my laptop... so long and farewell all.. wil b bak in 1 week time... and then hop to type out som life changing stuff... wil pray for u all!! love to all! take care everybody!!